


if the moon smiled, she would resemble you

by sundaystorm



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-22
Updated: 2014-11-22
Packaged: 2018-02-26 15:51:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2657723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sundaystorm/pseuds/sundaystorm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>laura x carmilla drabble post ep. 32 (alternatively "what should have happened")</p>
            </blockquote>





	if the moon smiled, she would resemble you

if the moon smiled, she would resemble you  
you leave the same impression  
of something beautiful, but annihilating.

                          — sylvia plath, ariel

 

“What… What’s going to happen now? We don’t have a lot of time until the ritual begins, and we need to start planning as soon as possible.”  
  
Your head still feels dizzy, being possessed by someone isn’t as exciting and thrilling as movies make it to be. You don’t remember, but you guess that’s a good thing.  
  
Carmilla’s arms are still around you and she carefully helps you get up from the bed. She’s silent and she looks so broken and exhausted, but you don’t say a thing. Instead, you walk to your desk and lean in front of your computer.  
  
You take a deep breath. This is nothing new, weirder things have happened at Silas, right? And the good news is that you’re still alive, so you’ll take all the small victories you can get. Carmilla said she’d get the sword, so you’re confident that you’ll beat the Dean.   
  
Except… something’s not right.  
  
Your mouth tastes like blood, and the USB drive is gone, and you were sure that it was there before this whole possession thing happened.   
  
“Carmilla?” you call out, furrowing your eyebrows but staring straight at your webcam. “Where’s JP?”  
  
You only hear the faint sounds of the people wandering around the hall; Carmilla is still quiet. “You know, I can just go back and check the recordings to see what happened…”  
  
“No!”  
  
Ha, you knew that was going to work. You turn around, because leaning down and resting your head on your hands (even for a few minutes) was giving you lower back pain. Your chair is missing, and you’re not sure if you really want to know what happened while you were unconscious and someone else had complete power over your body.   
  
Carmilla is sitting on the edge of your bed, her hands on her knees and her hair falling on her face. She looks tiny… fragile, so you hurry to her side and sit next to her, placing your hand on her knee to offer her some kind of comfort.  
  
And you realize that it’s weird, because after a very traumatic experience, you should be the one needing comforting. But it’s not in your nature to care for yourself first; everyone else is more important. It’s the reason that got you here in the first place, you just couldn’t let Betty’s disappearance go unnoticed.  
  
“You…,” Carmilla’s voice cracks, and you allow yourself to gently squeeze her thigh. She always seems to be there for you when your worst nightmares haunt you, so maybe you can be there for her too, when her nightmares become reality.  
  
“Go on,” you encourage her, nodding slowly.   
  
“You did—well, Mamam did some things when she was in your body. I don’t…,” she shakes her head, but you don’t take her eyes off of her for a second. “JP’s gone, and Kirsch…”  
  
You hold your breath because you feel like something terrible is going to come out of her mouth, but there’s only silence filling the room.   
  
She still won’t look at you.  
  
“What happened, Carmilla?”  
  
Your voice is harsh now, and perhaps an octave higher than it usually is, but it always seemed to be the only way to get Carmilla to actually listen to you. She flinches and moves an inch away from you, and you’re confused, but you place your own hand on your lap and let out a soft sigh. You repeat in a lower voice, “what happened, Carmilla?”  
  
Her eyes are closed now, and you reach out to brush her bangs out of her face.   
  
“You don’t understand… I was so afraid that I was going to lose you. I couldn’t let my mother take you.” She shakes her head, and you can tell that she’s doing everything in her power to avoid eye contact; it only makes you want to reach out to her more.  
  
“Hey, I’m still here, aren’t I?” You smile but she doesn’t see. You wish you could count being alive as a victory, because in the grand scheme of things, it really isn’t. “We can…fight evil together now. We have some time left, we can do it Carmilla. I know we can.”  
  
It’s not subtle at all, and you can notice Carmilla choke back a sob before she finally tilts her head and looks at you. You’ve never seen her like this, and it scares you. Her eyes seem like an open book, and you can tell there are hundreds of years worth of history there, tales awaiting to be read.  
  
She half smiles lazily. You can tell she’s tired, because even something as simple as smiling seemed to take out all of her energy.  
  
“I didn’t have a choice, cupcake.” Her hand reaches your arm and slowly makes its way to your neck, where you have two not subtle band-aids. “She was so ready to take you away from me. I can’t let that happen I’m not going to lose someone I…care about again. It had to be done, and I’m sorry, but I  _am_  doing it for you. It’s always you.”  
  
Your heart is doing that stupid thing where it’s beating faster than it’s supposed to, but you’re still not sure if it’s because Carmilla admitted she cares about you, or because there’s inevitably some bad news about to come out of her mouth.  
  
“So…what are you saying?”  
  
“They took the pup—Will took Kirsch.”  
  
No.  
  
“M-mother said that she wouldn’t do anything to you in exchange of someone else, and…it was out of my control. You’re safe now, as long as you stay away…”  
  
You tune out everything she’s saying, because all you can think in that moment is ‘no, no, please, no’. She wouldn’t, Carmilla just  _wouldn’t_. This isn’t happening, and no matter how many times Carmilla told you that none of this is your fault, it surely feels like it is. People who are close to you keep disappearing or… You can’t even think about it. And all because Carmilla was trying to save you? No, you’re not worth it.  
  
“You have to fix this,” you say, shaking your head, full on denial. “There’s still time until the next full moon. You…,” your voice breaks, but you go on. “You can go get the sword, and…she won’t see it coming, right? We’ll get everyone back. Carmilla, please, you have to fix this…”  
  
It’s a desperate plea, you realize this. But sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures. You can’t lose any more people, and Carmilla can’t keep saving you forever.  
  
“Have you been listening to a word I’ve said? If you try and interfere with her plans again, she’ll kill you, Laura.”  
  
“I don’t care.”  
  
That seems to be enough to get her attention and get Carmilla out of her angsty mood into a angry one.  
  
“I  _do_  care. Don’t you think I would have delivered you to my mother myself when I had the chance if I didn’t care?” Carmilla gets up, and she’s angrily pacing around the small room. She still seems composed enough, and you wonder how many years it took her to keep her emotions in check, how many years it took her to perfection that detached from everything facade.  
  
“But I can take it.”  
  
She stops, turns to look at you, and kneels down in front of you.  
  
“But I can’t. You’re…important. I can’t…I don’t want to lose you.”  
  
You worry your bottom lip; it’s one of those times you wish you were a regular teenager whose only concern is college and whether it’s the right time or not to kiss the girl.  
  
“You won’t. I  _truly_  believe that we can do this, Carmilla. We can save the girls, and Kirsch, and…Ell. Everyone wins.”  
  
Almost everyone, but it’ll be a victory nevertheless.  
  
“As long as you’re safe and alive.”  
  
She has one hand over your knee, and the other one finds your cheek quickly, where you can feel her thumb gently brush against your skin. You tilt your head and lean into it.   
  
“Yeah, I think I will be.”


End file.
